she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
