How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
