butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize