I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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