Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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