i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
is it fun? or sober?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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