me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
