i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
