Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination

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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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(310): View more from California

how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused

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(407): View more from Florida

Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.

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