apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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