Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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