He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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