she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
