Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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