I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your penis caused this!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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