i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
