Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Randomize
