I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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