i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
