I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
