But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
