i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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