if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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