Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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