He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
