My sheets look like a crime scene.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
