So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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