Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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