New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to calm my uterus...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
