the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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