omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
