this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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