Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
