I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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