My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
