TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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