You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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