What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
