i just wanna soil my oats bro
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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