There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
