What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
