The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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