I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
