I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
