i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
