i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
