Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
