she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
