At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i think i just lost a toe
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
