So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
