And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
