is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
