The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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