Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
