i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
