I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
