I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
