I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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