You're completely useless in the revolution.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
