his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
