So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
