She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
