i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
