There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We left the knife in your bed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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