Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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