he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
